Loving in the Present
My son, Caleb’s love and commitment to his family is above and beyond my imagination. I think it surpasses that of my own. I am learning from him how to love and value this micro community even more. He gives this family everything he’s got and I’m ashamed to say I forget its value when I’m busy finding personal fulfilment. Caleb is teaching me what unconditional love looks like and where it all stems from.
He doesn’t care when I got my MBA, my GPA in college, nor did I meet my SMART goal at work? All he cares about is splashing in the pool while mommy and daddy watch what he can do, what are we having for an after dinner treat and can we play the game SORRY tonight?
He shared with me his nightmare from the other night where his sister was taken by the doctor and replaced with a paper doppelgänger that woke him up in the middle of the night screaming. He lives in the moment and is fearful of loss just like I am. He never cease to enjoy the moment and is willing to take all the risks of love and loss.
Somewhere in my journey I’ve learned the pain of loss and decided that it was safer to live life detached than to be to wrapped up in it. Instead of experiencing loss when they come, I’ve learned not to expect too much from life because it always disappoints. In the past, I had been proud of my detachment and have interpreted it as a spiritual maturity of being “poor” in spirit, but upon reflection, it’s actually a sign of cowardice. Jesus is teaching me to learn that “poor” doesn’t mean that I don’t need love. “Poor” really means I do need it and all of it in this moment and trusting in God for the next moment while being grateful for the one I’m in.
With Caleb’s help, we all can make our home the place where loving moments are experienced and enjoyed. It’s a launching pad for all the people under its roof, myself included, a safe and accepting place where everyone can be “poor” together as God’s beloved children.To learn to trust Him together. It would be a dream come true, a loving and comforting home I’ve always wanted.
“At the center of the Gospel stand the Beatitudes. The first one sums up all the others: ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.’ I hope this book has helped the reader to understand this astonishing statement by Jesus and begin to put it into practice. Spiritual poverty, utter dependence on God and his mercy, is the condition for interior freedom. We need to become children and ‘consent to expect everything as a gift from God our Father: absolutely everything, moment by moment.’” Jacque Philippe.
Works Cited:
Philippe, Jacques. Interior Freedom. New York: Scepter Publishers, Inc., 2007.
Schwendimann, Caleb. Family. 2017. Pencil on Paper. Schwendimann Digital Database, Tustin, CA.