Only For Today

“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.” - Matthew 6:9-13.

Too often, I’m guilty of asking God not only for today but tomorrow, next week, the rest of my life and the rest of the kids’ lives too. Asking God just for today is counter intuitive to my inborn instincts.

This fear of not enough bleeds into every aspect of my life that prevents me from enjoying not only this moment with God and those around me but I’ve forfeited tomorrow, next week, and the rest of my life. When tomorrow comes I’ve already moved on to the day after. It’s the constant fear of “not enough.”

Not just material things, but a laundry list of: not smart enough, not witty enough, not kind enough, not motherly enough, even not enough for God’s grace. Before I know it, my mind lands on “I’m not good enough.”

The only remedy to this destructive self harassment is to sit in its prickly thorn and ask God to come into this moment. To trust that His love is plenty. To know that I am enough and I have enough. I need not worry.

My 20 month old daughter, Esther, is well on her way to the “not enough” fear. We had neighbors over last night for a play date, and I put watermelon out for the kids to snack on. She had a slice of watermelon in her hand while noticing that there were only two slices left on the table. She pointed to them and insisted on getting those slices. Her neighbors knew what she was up to and grabbed them before they were gone. She was fit to be tied. I gently reminded her that there is still a full slice of watermelon in her left hand.

Little did Esther know that there was another half a watermelon in the kitchen that will be cut for all to enjoy when the ones on the table are gone. Esther and the neighbors will have plenty to eat. Little did Chau know that God has plenty in store for her and her neighbors to enjoy the beauties of this life and all it offers.

Image: Millet, Jean-Francois.  L'Angelus. 1857-1859. Musée D’Orsay, Paris, France.