Trust the Darkness

“Then spake Solomon, The Lord said that he would dwell in the thick darkness.” 1 Kings 8:12

I’m struggling to let go of what I know as reality and trust in the Lord completely. It’s a demand from Him that I just don’t know how to fulfill. My journey with Him has brought me face to face with him multiple times. He has frustrated me, revealed Himself to me through His love, and showed me how to remain in his light of grace. Now He is requesting me to trust Him.

To open up my arms wide and fall into the darkness knowing that He will extend His arms to embrace me. He’s promising me that He’ll catch me and gently set me on my feet. He’s shown me many times that I won’t fall and get hurt, yet the mental and emotional hurdle of letting go of earthly promises is hard if not impossible for me to do at this moment.

I know that the tension that is the pushing and pulling of my soul against the created world will be lessened when I dive into the darkness that is Him.

I just can’t do it. I’m hanging on by my fingernails and I don’t know why. “If you did know what would it be?” I can hear myself asking many people I’ve talked with. I would say that it’s impatience, the need to control, and the lack of trust in God’s promise. I want to know what’s going to happen tomorrow and the day after. I need to know how my life will unfold. It’s what the people of the world tell me. They all tell me that if I don’t have a vision for my life I’ll go no where. If I follow Him, I'll walk straight into His embrace. 

The only vision I can see through Him for my life is to love Him with all my heart, mind, and soul. To love no other but Him. To love his people like I love him. To trust in nothing but Him; this is my struggle.

Image: Claude Monet, A Seascape, Shipping by Moonlight. 1864. National Galleries of Scotland, Edinburgh, Scotland.