Knowing how to love is to desire to love more...

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”
John 14:1-3

I’ve been waiting to write this for a while because I couldn’t think of an image that would convey the message I wanted, until last week. I was in DC and had the privilege of visiting the National Portrait Gallery and came across the young lady in William Glackens’ painting The Purple Dress. As you can see in the painting, she is ready to go somewhere. She has on a beautiful purple dress, her hat is fastened on her head and her walking boots are ready to hit the pavement. But she is pouting. Her lips are pressed tightly together and her eyes slightly roll. She looks impatiently at the artist. Her arms and body are relaxed with her ankles crossed looking comfortable in the chair. She’s probably thinking to herself, “What is taking so long? I haven’t any idea… I might as well just get comfortable.”

This is how I feel as I wait for Jesus to come. I’m like a young girl again, waiting for my date to take me to the dance. This Date, however, is very special to me. He’s the One I’ve been waiting for, that I’ve longed to be with, and the only One who I desire so deeply that it feels like physical pain. I’m dressed, with my hat, coat, and shoes, ready to dance with Him into eternity. Where is He? What’s taking so bloody long! I’d like to think that when He gets here I’d give him a sassy look that says, “What took You so long?” His response, I hope, would be, “Because it’s good for you”, with an endearing smile on His face.

I know that when He arrives, all that I’ve longed for will be reality. He’ll be here to get me and take me to the eternal party. I can finally join the greatest party in all of creation and the best part of all is that I get to be with Him forever. Alas, the waiting is painful. There is suffering in waiting.

The call to Christian life according to St. Paul is to endure long suffering. He mentioned it in many of his letters like Colossians 1:11, “Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness.” St. Paul is reminding me to wait patiently for Jesus to come. To endure the suffering of waiting and to accept God’s will with Joyfulness.

It’s so difficult. It’s difficult to sit and wait when all I want is to be with Him at the party. When we love someone, we want to love them more. To spend every waking moment together until we are intoxicated with each other’s company. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, even in loving God, because humans seek to possess Him. He wants us to learn and grow and love this world He created for us. I need to learn disciplined love and follow His will. To learn when He says no, so I can recognize when He says yes.

This is a reason why I love quiet prayer. I take 20 to 30 minutes out of my day to sit still and to listen. To listen to God’s voice talking to my soul. I invite Him to be with me. To open myself up for the Holy Spirit to fill me with God’s love. It makes the waiting bearable

Image: William Glackens. The Purple Dress. 1908-10. Smithsonian American Art Museum. Washington, D.C.